I receive so many comments and messages from women and couples stating something along the lines of, "I would love to do a boudoir session, but I don't have the confidence."
If this is you, let me stop you right there ~ that's the number one reason to do a boudoir shoot!
To BUILD and BOOST your CONFIDENCE!!
Don't get me wrong; being nervous, feeling extra vulnerable, and having doubtful thoughts are NORMAL. We're all human, and we all think and feel insecure and undeserving sometimes. It's totally reasonable to feel nervous about doing a boudoir shoot. I get it! Stripping down, letting someone capture you in intimate and sensual ways, and putting your trust in a photographer, especially one you haven't worked with before, it can sound daunting. But client comfort, safety, and privacy rights are among my top priorities as an intimate portrait photographer, and you ARE deserving. Those insecurities aren't worth listening to. If even an ounce of yourself is whispering "I want to do this," then I promise to face those fears and do it will be so worth it!!
Here are 3 Ways Boudoir Boosts Confidence
1 ~ Body Positivity
This term can be quite subjective, but for me, it boils down to two things; embracing yourself as you are, in all stages of life, and appreciating your body, for its uniqueness and for all it does for you along your journey.
My boudoir sessions are all about this. I always ask what your favorite part of your body is so we get plenty of shots you're sure to be obsessed with, and your headspace is in the zone of self-love. Boudoir poses, prompts, movements, and outfits will have you totally feeling yourself (literally, in fact), getting in touch with your body and your sensuality, as we capture all your curves and lines and scars and beauty (all while I hype you up, compliment you, and show you how to start fighting off those negative thoughts, replacing them with neutral or loving ones). We get creative, we get silly, and we treat our sessions like "sexy yoga," taking care of your muscles and joints, and working with your body's abilities, and there's nothing like shaking your booty and stretching your body to make you feel good. Because no matter what we look like or how we feel about our bodies, they're here for us, 'til the day we die. No matter what your body or abilities look like, you are worthy of self-love and acceptance, and feeling sexy!! Your uniqueness makes you YOU and all bodies are good bodies. And your boudoir photo reveal is sure to showcase those favorite features, help you see your less favorite features in a new light, and remind you just how sexy and bold you are!
2 ~ Sex Positivity
This is another one of those subjective concepts, but for me, it comes down to feeling comfortable about sex and about feeling sexy. Boudoir can be so empowering and freeing in the way it boosts that comfort around sexiness and expands the comfort zone.
So many of us, women especially, are taught to be ashamed of anything sexual, yet we are constantly sexualized by others. The shame, guilt, confusion, and any other feelings you may have around sex or feeling sexy are normal feelings to have in a society like ours! But don't let society's double standards stop you from feeling yourself, embracing your body, your sexuality, and your boldness.
Boudoir helped me through the shame of being a victim of sexual assault, through those feelings of confusion, to see it's not wrong to want to feel sexy on my own terms. That there is power in taking back my sexuality by embracing my body. That sense of power gave me back ownership over my own body, my own sexiness, and my own sex life. Boudoir helped me feel confident about feeling sexy again, without victim shaming myself. It gave me a safe space to feel sexy and bold, to connect with my own body and sexuality in a way I had been afraid to do before. It allowed me to take that confidence home and into my relationship. Boudoir helped me separate my feelings about sex and sexiness from those about sexual assault and it helped me feel those things in a secure way. It's let me grow to appreciate and embrace that side of myself that I was programmed to be ashamed of.
Let me say it loud and clear; being sexual vs sexualized is not the same thing. There is nothing wrong with an adult wanting to have a healthy, consensual sex life with their partner, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy, own your sexuality, and get in touch with your sensual side on your own terms! And if any of that is something you need help building confidence with, boudoir is here to help both on an individual level or with couples sessions!
3 ~ Vulnerability and Boldness
You may not think getting vulnerable is linked to being bold and brave, but it absolutely is. Think of it like a form of therapy; the more you open up, the easier it is to open up, and the more real and raw you get, the better the healing and growth. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, trusting, and open, especially in new and raw ways, your boldness shines through more and more. The more you open yourself up to facing things like insecurities, the less power those insecurities hold over you, and the more confidence steps in. And when you start to build confidence about things like body positivity, sex positivity, and being vulnerable about being yourself and accepting and loving yourself, the confidence and boldness spill over into the rest of your life, too. Boudoir gives you the ability to be vulnerable and bold all at once and grow in those aspects of yourself. It's all about Self-Love, really.
I often use the phrase, "Stay Bold and Bravely You." This sentiment, like the others I've talked about here, is subjective and can mean a lot of different things.
To me, it means remaining vulnerable and open, being as true to my heart as I can, and embracing myself, my body, my passions, and life to the fullest of my abilities, even in the face of insecurity and/or judgment, and in turn, be the boldest, most ME version of myself I can possibly offer this world.
I encourage you to keep these goals in mind, too, and don't stop yourself from trying new things, exploring parts of yourself you want to know better, and stepping into that vulnerability and boldness, and the self-love you deserve.
Comments